Q. What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend?
A. Homeless.
Q: Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?
A: Because pot holder was taken
Q: What do you get when you eat marijuana ?
A: A pot belly
Q: What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.
Q: How do you know when you have smoked enough pot ?
A: When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.
Q: How do you know your a pothead?
A: You studied five days for a urine test.
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?
A: Mr. President.
Q: What do fish pack their bong with?
A: Seaweed.
Q: Why did the pot head plant cheerios?
A: He thought they were donut seeds.
Q: What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock ?
A: A Liar.
Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers ?
A: Malnutrition.
Q: What do you call it when a dropped roach burns your shirt?
A: A pot hole!
Q: How do you know you are a true stoner?
A: When your bong gets washed more than your dishes!
Q: What is Reality?
A: An illusion caused by a lack of good weed.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk guy and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Q: What is the difference between politicians and stoners ?
A: Politicians don't inhale...they just suck.
Q. What's the difference between a stoner and a tweeker?
A. When a pothead is driving down a road he is driving about 20 mph and eating the upholstery. When a tweeker is driving down a road he is driving about 200 mph, and talking to the upholstery.
Q. If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?
A. The cop!
Q. Why did the stoner cross the street?
A. His dealer lived on the other side.
Q: What do a bad football team and a pothead have in common?
A: They both get blitzed!
Q: How do you hide pot from a hippie?
A: Put it under the soap.
Q: How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb
A: Who cares man, its way too bright in here anyway!